I would help the homeless If I just knew where they lived.

tired but can't sleep

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 08:22:30 GMT

So College has been interesting. But that's for another entry, right now I'm sitting here thinking about all the crap we've been through and how amazing it really is. It's kind of fun to think about things like that, especially after the fact. She's my best friend and it'll be like that till the end of time. Not being together all the time does feel really bad, but at least I know we feel the same way, even though I think I complain more about everything. Sorry. But ya. Goodnight and sweet dreams love. Your the best.

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 21:11:33 GMT

Ehem...

So this summer has been so far the greatest summer of my entire life. The past several weeks have been full of some of the most amazing things ever. The friends, concerts, movies, "sleepovers", parties, and clubs have been really good times. Metal Skool has been awesome, as well as spending every single day possible with my best friend and finding out that it actually isn't possible for us to get sick of each other lol, we just get more attached, a good thing indeed. So ya Yesterday I took her to the flyaway, kinda sucked but I know she'll be back soon. it's gonna be really lame around here without her for nine days.
I Start work on tuesday at the same paint and body shop, doing office work and promoting the shop to what I'm assuming will be car dealerships and other shops. Should be interesting and it'll be nice to actually have a job where I have a steady income instead of making a huge amount of money in a few hours and not working for a month. Not a fun way to live and to pay things off. Yesterday was fun at the warped tour, hot to see some of the better bands in the revolutionary vein, Rise Against, Anti-flag, Lars Fredrikson, and of course Bad Religion, who I swear to god get better every time they play, and every year they get older. Hmmm, well I think I'm off to see what I can do with the rest of today, monday I get my wheels and suspension, that'll be good times. So ya, I'll talk more about things later...

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 02:49:35 GMT

After all this time I finally know where I’m happy. And that’s what’s so frustrating.

Thu, 04 Mar 2004 02:36:40 GMT

Ahh, just got back from having to spend all my money on a new cd changer for my car because yesterday morning, god knows how but my cd changer caught fire on my drive to school. My musics just that hot. Oh well, it had it's day. Anyways, this week has been pretty smooth, albeit uneventful. I watched 28 days later agin, every time I see that I have more respect for it, it an awesome movie. I'm still waiting to see lost in translation though. So ya I have a test on A dolls house tomorrow morning so I've gotta look over that at some point tonight. After I have some more fun with the George Foreman grill.
-Dusty

waiting for something terrible to happen

Sun, 15 Feb 2004 20:07:06 GMT

Lately everything seems like, well I dont even know what it seems like anymore. I dont even know what's going on in my own life and with my own friends. This last week has been a joke. Sometimes I seriously hate how close I get with people, but at the same time I love it. It just makes everything so much harder. Especially when all you can think of all day long is what effect something you do is going to have on somebody else, when you essentially don't have your own life, living for the happiness of an entire group of people who hinge so closely on every action of yours that makes you want to just shut the door of your room and never come out. Or maybe I'm just imagining that people care about my life that much. Doesn't matter anyways.
It's going to be hard to adjust to ammount of time that I have now. With the three hour practices behind me and the neverending tournaments and 12 hour school days behind me. everything feels just a bit off right now.
I know what I would be doing right this moment it I were taken back about two weeks, I'd be standing in the middle of her living room with keys in my hand ready to go out and run some random errand and get some lunch somewhere. everything would feel like it was planned out already. I dont know, why the hell am I talking about that anyways. I feel if I just stop caring everthing will fall into place, everything will be better in some odd kind of way. But it's just so hard to truly let go. The funny thing is that I dont feel sad about anything, not in the least bit really, it's not sadness, it a strange kind of anxiousness. A fear of change, I have become a creature of habit so set into the idea of comfortably knowing what everyday holds that I had forgotten what it was.......I havent figured it all out yet, I dont think I will anytime soon. I hope I will, but I dont know what I will gain from that anyways. The best, fuck talking about the best whatever or any of this I'm sick of it, sick of it all. I just want everything to go away, but I still love her, she's still the best firend I've ever had. And that will never change. I need a break from emotion, all of it, mine and others. Care isn't over, but sometines i wish it could be, except for our friendship.

Mon, 19 Jan 2004 05:39:17 GMT

Eh, finals are so not fun.
After not being able to drive ANYWHERE other than school and home fro about a month I end up having to spend what could in theory be a pretty cool four nights out at home studying.....grrrr how I dislike school. I like that, dislike hehe, sounds kinda like your being sarcastic, only not...whatever. I've been really lavy with livejournal and I htink that I'm going to make a consious effort to make more regular entries.
Anywho this last week was really hard, but as always it would've been alot worse if I didnt have that special someone to always be there for me on the other end of the phone, even if sometimes I can only talk fro a minute or two before my mom comes in the room to get me off of the phone and back to studying.
Kas came by last night to come and get his...wait that was Friday night. so Friday night Kas came and borrowed my amp cause he got a new guitar but no amp...leave it to kas, anywho I had dinner with the fam and came home that was fun. Cept for the part where it took me an hour and a half to get home. that was just not cool.
Well the laft few weeks have been pretty cool overall. The coolest thing of all this year, or pretty much any other year that I can think of had to be the trip I took to San Francisco. That was amazing. who the hell gets to go to San Francisco with their best friend who also just happens to be their girlfriend for the best time in the world. Anyways enough said, it was awesome.
Since that night I have achieved something that I never thought I would while in high school, Dj a party bigger than the one Liam and I threw for Anastasia. That was huge, this sets a new standard for a big party, about a thousand behind the gates, and at a conservative estimate about 6-700 people in the street. crazy. That was really good times, even though it did end early. Christine made the night happen though, lugging me around never seems to be a big deal for her and I love her for that, not to mention alot of other things. Ya...we've been together for over 11 months now. something I'm not sure her or I thought would really happen considering the strange chain of events that somehow led to out relationship.
It's been the best 11 months of my life, hands down.

alright, I think this was a fair start for my resurrected journal. I'll talk to you all later.

Wed, 17 Dec 2003 06:05:51 GMT

So to anyone who actually reads this thing, here goes nothing...
Just about everyting that anyone could think of has happened to me between the last time I've posted, which was, yes, a long time ago and now. But I guess without the bitter the sweet just aint as sweet. Thanks alot for that one Citizen Dildo, it's proven to be the maxim to which I've seemed to live my life by for the past few weeks. The good and the bad, but in the end everything seems to be better than I ever thought it could be in the beginning.
Love is a blanket covering so many different words that I wish I could come forth with.
This year is absolutely flying by, and I've been really busy lately, with everything, the newspaper, video, wrestling, everything. Today I managed to get the entire faculty to sing a line of "It's beginning to look alot liek Christmas", that was fun.
I seem to have just recently rediscovered my love for books. I might be the only one who thinks that this is in the least way interesting but I found a book by Kipling that was made in 1833. But anyways, even though I've read it a few times before "1984" seems to have suddenly taken a very close second place to my favorite book of all time, "breakfast of Champions" By Kurt Vonnegut.
This last weekend was definately one of the greatest weekends I can remember in a very long time. So much good happened and so many things were fixed and made better than ever. Christmas break is almost here, thank god. I'm not sure how much more of school I could handle withought a nervous breakdown. Two more days of coasting and then I'm free. well The break could be better if I didnt have the restricted license that I recieved today at court. For about one month I'm not allowed to drive anywhere but school or "work" I guess. whatever. I'll still go places, with my favorite person, which is basically everywhere I go anyways, she'll just have to drive this time.
Friends are becoming more obvious. I've finally gotten to the point where I'm positive that the friends I have actually care, which is a big thing for me.
I'm really interested in starting a band, so anyone out there that also wants to start one is more than welcome to join.
Christmas vacation is going to ba amazing, wow. Especially if I end up getting to go to San Francisco, which is basically a done deal. I cant even begin to describe how amazing that'll be. Wow.
I feel like "girlfriend" is much too small of a word, seems like it's more than that.
She's my best friend, without a doubt, my best friend.
I'm going to have to continue this tomorrow, I'm getting really sleepy. This entry is lacking in something, I just havent put my finger on it yet. soon the 16 hour days will be gone

Fri, 14 Nov 2003 05:49:59 GMT

MY FUCKING LIVEJOURNAL JUST ERASED THE GREATEST ENTRY OF MY LIFE. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LIVEJOURNAL YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU.

FUCK.

just because

Fri, 14 Nov 2003 03:38:01 GMT

HI!

Mon, 27 Oct 2003 05:27:47 GMT

Elliot Smith died.

The Governator

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 05:29:07 GMT

Hey everybody. I havent updated in a while i know, but theres just been so much going on. Anyways, this last weekend was pretty good.
Friday:
I went hung out with Christine and went over to the football game at Crespi against Notre Dame, that was insane, even though we lost. There wasn't parking for like at least six blocks. Anyways, we watched some of the game and left some time after halftime. On the way out I ran into Kate and Allison. It would've been nice, had Allison not continued her mission to make every possible decent situation that much worse. So anyways, i was greeted by her with a huge "you're a fucking asshole!" so that just makes for a great introduction to a wonderful conversation, needless to say that sucked. so I walked away and left. like the person I am, being that I hate confrontation. But after that i had fun going to get boba and dinner with christine in westwood before meeting with Zade, Kas and friends to rent out a room at habibi cafe'. I took C-town home after that and we had an amazing Friday, like always.
Saturday:
Saturday morning was nothing...hehe, a great nothing. then in the afternoon i went with my mom to go and survey a resteraunt in calabassas, that was fun. After that it was off to Guitar Center to pick up a new amp for my PA speakers. That made my day. After that nothing really happened, the whole night. Saturday night was a bust, terrible, just terrible.
Sunday:
Sunday was really nice, i went over to Christines' in the mornin' and stayed there for a while while i made a Cup-O-Noodles Breakfast. Then we left to go over to a car show which was actually really cool, the hot dog guy there had the biggest hot dogs I've ever seen lol. After that we went back to my place and stayed for a few hours. Then off to dinner with the fam, we all went over to Chili's. Shortly after that i dropped Christine off and went over to Katy's to get goin to the Shortlist Concert. OH and on the way there we got to use on star! on star is the coolest thing ever! ever....She's so funny with those people lol I can say no more. But anyways back to the show. That, was a good show. The Streets were pretty good, their beats are amazing. Damien Rice was just kick ass too, like a offbeat version of john mayer but 100000000 times better, not to say that john mayer isn't good or anything. But best of all was definately without a doubt Bright Eyes. Bright Eyes is most definately one of the most amazing musical collaborations to ever record music, and Connor Oberst playing his songs with an orchestra was surreal, it was beautiful and I had a good time. So anyways after that Katy took me back to her place where I picked up my car and drove home, prompting a record breaking cell phone call to Christine.

And that was my weekend.

Thu, 25 Sep 2003 05:26:56 GMT

So this last friday i spent the evening with my favorite person. we went to sushi with the famililia, then proceeded to drive around and do nothing in particular all night. those are the best times. Saturday was one of the most fulfilling days had in a long time, woke up to the tutor, then christine came over. After that we went over to Santa Monica for FLUGTAG. Flugtag was awesome, however i was not impressed with the need for a backstage pass to get close to the action. Whatever, it was fun. We waited in line for taco bell for 45 minutes, then drove home a little later. Christine and I then watched a movie, followed by going to the freshman dance over at Chaminade, where we found the keys to a new BMW next to the car. That was good times, after that we left to go and meet up with Liam at a party. once there a sixteen year old idiot girl proceeded to drink two bottles of Vodka to herself, trying to show everyone else how grown up and mature she was of course, anywaysm she ran into a pole and ended up in the hospital, good riddens. I dislike girls like that. So i played bouncer for a while, then ran into some old friends like ryan, jason, and stephanie. that was cool. After that it was time to leave so i spent about 20 minutes gtting off of that street because of this crew of looser homeboys who wanted to start something. Whateverm i got past them and took Christine home after she gave them a piece of her mind. Saturday was an amazing day.

"gentlemen, that last piece there was huge".

Sat, 13 Sep 2003 07:19:19 GMT

I cant believe that I spent sixteen hours at school today. that to me is altogether unbelievable. So I spent the better part of the evening putting together a webcast for our football team, who by the grace of god pulled off an outstanding victory. That's more than I can say for them in all of the years that I've been there. hmmmm, Brother seacrest's class today was amusing. especially when he got pissed over the words retarded and chick. Haha, It was especially funny hearing the classic story's od coach cerniglia making fun of Chaminade and their bird. Hmmmm, besides that....OH WAIT...most awkward moment ever. Ran into the girl that used me to go to winter formal sophomore year for the picture and dumped me at the very beginning of the dance right after the picture tonight. Like that wasnt wierd. She pretended to care, what a joke. Anyways, goodnight everyone. I'll talk to you all later.

I just wanna be pure

Mon, 08 Sep 2003 03:49:35 GMT

You're growing up. And rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth. And it's good that there is rain. It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies... so we can dance.

Tue, 26 Aug 2003 18:34:05 GMT

ok, so I just saw Three of the most amazing bands to ever play music on the entire planet. Motorhead, Ronny James Fuckin' Dio, and above all the band i thought i'd never be able to see ever, Iron Maiden. I cant even begin to explain how amazing this show was. I didnt even know it was possible for bands to put on this good of a show. Wow. "Amazing". i couldnt have asked for anything better than what happened at that show. Anyways, so that was great and i'll talk to all you people later then. byers.

Sun, 24 Aug 2003 20:02:57 GMT

The rain it started tappin'
On the window near my bed
There was a loophole in my dreamin'
So I got out of it
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open
Just my nightstand and my dresser
Where those nightmares had just been

So I dressed myself and left then
Out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different
And completely new to me
The sky the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body
And each person I encountered
I couldn't wait to meet

And I came upon a doctor
Who appeared in quite poor health
I said there's nothing that I can do for you you can't do for yourself
He said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help
So I sat with him awhile
Then I asked him how he felt

He said I think I'm cured
No, in fact, I'm sure of it
Thank you, stranger
For your therapeutic smile

So that's how I learned the lesson
That everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining
If you're ever gonna grow
And when crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope

That's why I'm singing baby don't worry
'Cause now I got your back
And every time you feel like crying
I'm gonna try and make you laugh
And if I can't
If it just hurts too bad
Then we'll wait for it to pass
And I will keep you company for those days so long and black

And we'll keep working on the problem
We know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
Our lives are fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
Like a painting on a wall
Then I think we'd see the beauty then
We'd stand staring in awe

At our still lives posed
Like a bowl of oranges
Like a story told
By the fault-lines and the soil

Sun, 24 Aug 2003 20:00:06 GMT

hi there, i think i'm going to og to la fitness now to try and get this person in something resembling a good shape, byeeeeee

Change means nothing when nothing wants to change

Thu, 21 Aug 2003 07:44:41 GMT

the anticlimax I always face is becoming tiresome, the more I hope for the good in you the lesser one shows it's face once again, for a day in the sun followed by weeks of tortured silence. The silence bleeds out my ears like the chains you've bound me with. Hate is such a weak word to describe this feeling that's confronted with undying obsession that lays dormant for weeks on end until it rises up again in me and turns my every thought against he. Sadness is all that pours out of this one, the sick one who infects the whole with it's tainted obsession for all that is beautiful and deadly, and why must deadly be bonded to beauty, because death, is all he can expect to come out of this life.

Fri, 01 Aug 2003 06:33:01 GMT

dah, so....tired...can....barely.....keep...eyes....open...Had...people..over..today..fun..with..christine...."and stuff":oP...
I'll write more tomorrow when I can actually think.

If only pure sweetness was offered, why is this bitter taste left in my mouth?

Mon, 28 Jul 2003 01:43:39 GMT

So Thursday night I didn't go to the car show because supposedly the cops are cracking down on the people there more and more every week and I didnt really want to deal with that. So instead I elected to wear the sean john running suit and go over to Zade's house to meet up with Kas and the usual crew. We hung out, Had dinner, and drove around doing absolutely nothing in peticular all night, those are the best times. So I ended up staying over at Kas's, and getting woken up at 6 by a construction worker banging on the window...enough said. So Kas came over with a bunch of the guys later, and he spent the night. That was good times. Saturday morning Kas and I went over to lower hsi car witch is now slammed on the fucking ground, it's nice. Then I went with christine to south coast plaza and looked at things in a variety of stores that are completely beyond our means. So that was fun. We came back home, and went to a party last night at my friend louie's house. Right now I'm getting ready to go out and get some dinner, goodbye.

Thu, 24 Jul 2003 23:32:36 GMT

So Yesterday I went to go look at loyola for a bit in the morning. Very Nice. Then I came back and was off to Christines' house to go down and see the tonight show. That was really cool, especially when Jay made some of the most innapropriate jokes ever about saddams sons. So yes, that was yesterday. Today I woke up around 7 to take Christine to school for no apparent reason becauseshe does drive. Dont ask. It was fun, especially when she wasnt even awake when I got there in the morning to pick her up. So we did the school thing and then I dropped her off. Later on tonight I'm gonna try out my new super cool sean john running suit and wear it over to the car show. That should be interesting, considering that it goes against everything I own and ever will own from this point on. anyways, I'll let ya'll know how was tonight. Till' next time.

Tue, 22 Jul 2003 07:27:19 GMT

Wow, first entry...Kinda Crazy oh well.
So this morning I was woken up to the sound of incessant panting beside my ear followed by the wet tounge and bad breath that is my dog. It appears some maintenence people were fixing sprinklers and what not on the side of the house and my dog felt the need to alert me to the possibility of them being a threat. So after waking up I talk to Christine for a bit, and then decide it's time to try to get the the effing gas station on a teaspoon of gas. I then went out to lunch at the "Munch box" which in case you dont know, is supposedly a landmark in the field of serving piping hot pieces of heart disease wrapped in grease soaked paper. Needless to say it's well worth your while. After lunch we went to go run some errands and then went back to the house and watched some episodes of Da Ali G Show. The greatest show ever. Anyways, that was the bulk of my day, save for the massacre we witnessed at the car wash when some fool apparently plowed into a crowd of people and injured several of them...lame, just cause those people got in the way of the car and happened to have the reflexes of christopher reeves I had to drive all the way up the street to a different car wash. I think I'll go to bed now.